“A lot of people seem to think that living in a cemetery is a bit morbid, but to that I say, ‘No better way to feel alive than being surrounded by a bunch of corpses,’ and then, I like, fake hang myself while staring them in the eye with this empty, vacant look that I’ve perfected over the years with the stiffs. That usually puts a stop to the condemnation and clears out the prudes.”

That was Emil Radcliff, the new resident groundskeeper for the cemetery here in Harrington, New Hampshire. NHBN was contacted by multiple concerned citizens, who chose to remain anonymous, regarding the recruitment.

Mr Radcliff has been raising controversy with his upbeat approach to the event that is crushing for most, the loss of a loved one. Instead of the usual tempered deference often associated with the funeral industry, he does things like congratulating the mourners of the dearly departed after the funeral ceremony. He uses terms like “Graduation Day” to refer to the time of death and offers a funerary service that includes a light show and a confetti cannon to quote “Bring some bezazz to the darkest of times.”

Emil’s peculiar approach to the inevitable end of us all manifests also during his free time; he is frequently found in the cemetery speaking through a megaphone laid against the ground of a grave.

“I only do it outside my work hours, during the deceased’s Graduation Day, sometimes on Halloween, whenever the veil is getting its dry cleaning, if you know what I mean. And if the family shows up, I do offer my services, for free, mind you, and leave if they wish to commune on their terms, but you would be surprised how many of them take me up on my offer. Maybe it’s because of the bullhorn, technology seems to give an air of credibility to even things of old.”

Emil claims to have conversations with the deceased and has allegedly formed many lasting friendships with people from the afterlife.

“Oh yes, for example, Frank over there at plot 4, he enjoys immensely when I do the merengue on top of his grave. He used to be a dance instructor, and he gives me pointers on my footwork, bless his heart, even tho it might be rotten now, but it’s none of his fault, it’s just how things go when you’re six feet under.”

Emil is, in fact, often seen participating in activities that many of the alarmed citizens described as “unnatural” and “downright disrespectful.” These include the aforementioned grave dancing and amplified communication with the deceased, alongside reported sightings of infusing the hollowed ground with alcohol and even improvisational music sessions, which he calls Death Jams.

“The Jams are one of my favorite things to do. I stick a bunch of electrodes into the ground and run them through this software thingy, and then the dead, and I can do an improv EDM session together using my modular synths. Sure, there’s always some curmudgeon down below who first complains that electronic music isn’t music at all. But, when I punch a couple of whiskey bottles neck first into the ground, and the party starts popping, man, they do change their tune quickly, and then in time with the others.”

While Emil’s demeanor is unconventional, and some find it offensive, many of the cemetery’s visitors have accepted and even welcomed the change in attitude brought on by this colorful character. Here’s what Georgina, 86, had to say:

“He’s wonderful, isn’t he? I used to dread coming here, visiting my late husband. I would get so sad, be like that for days after. But now that Emil’s here, he helps me to see that everything is in its place, how it should be, that there’s nothing to fear. He’s a godsend, a ray of light in a house of gloom.”

We here at NHBN share Georgina’s opinion about Emil and welcome the ray of light into our house of gloom. This has been David Forrester for NHBN news.